Pour Out Your Heart

Trust in Him at all times, you people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us.

Selah.

Psalm 62:8, NKJV

Sometimes I hold back when I pray.

It's true.  There are times when I don't tell God my whole heart because I'm embarrassed about what I have to tell tell Him.  Or because I hate feeling so vulnerable.  Or because I don't want to deal with the hurt that is deep down inside of me.  So I keep my prayers simple and shallow, and my emotions completely in check.  I put on a brave face and go before the Lord in prayer and tell Him how wonderful life is and how much I appreciate all that He's done, all that He's promised, and all that He's going to do.

I make my requests known to God.  I mutter through my intercessions for the needs of others that I know about.  I ask forgiveness for my own faults and failings which are so obvious to me.

And I believe God hears them all.  But in the deepest recesses of my soul, there are things that ache inside me.  There are wounds and hurts and disappointments.  I try not to let them fester.  I try to stay sweet in spite of them.  But I don't always deal with them.

God doesn't want to hear my groans and complaints, I tell myself.  God doesn't want to hear me whine and cry.  God doesn't want to hear me talk about everything I think is wrong in this life and this world.  God doesn't...

Really?  Doesn't the Bible say, Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you?

Doesn't the Bible say, Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God?

Doesn't the Bible say, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds?

Doesn't the Bible say, He shall wipe away every tear?

Truth be told, it's not God that I don't trust.  It's me.  I know He hears and receives all my prayers.  I even know that He is already aware of what's in my heart, whether I give voice to the pain or not.  I know that God is sitting patiently as a loving Father, waiting for me to open up the secret places of my heart so that He can provide help and healing.  I know those things.  I know that God is good, and that He gives good gifts to His children, and that there is nothing He will withhold from me, and that He can do everything, and that nothing is impossible with Him, and that He does all things well.  I know those things. 

So the time has come to pour out my heart to God, to tell Him everything that is there, not for the sake of His hearing, but for the sake of my healing.  It is time to trust the Lord with all that is within me, and find in Him the true refuge that my own heart cannot provide.

Hear my cry, O God;

Attend to my prayer.

From the end of the earth

I will cry to You,

When my heart is overwhelmed;

Lead me to the rock

that is higher than I.

Psalm 61:1-2, NKJV