Why Me?

For You, O God,

have tested us;

You have refined us

as silver is refined.

You brought us into the net;

You laid affliction

on our backs,

You have caused men

to ride over our heads;

We went through fire

and through water;

But You brought us out

to rich fulfillment.

Psalm 66:10-12, NKJV

Have you ever found yourself asking "Why?"  Why is life so difficult?  Why did this happen to me?  Why am I going through this?  Why, Lord, did you let this happen?

I've often told people to be careful about asking God why, because when you start asking Him questions, He starts giving answers.  And you might not like what He has to say.  For instance, a few years back I was going through a dark time in my life.  Things weren't going the way I had expected they would.  I wasn't seeing the kind of success I was used to.  Instead of my task being easy, it felt more like banging my head against a brick wall...over and over and over again.  I saw no produce of any kind, no fruit, no results from all of my labors.  It was a thankless job.  And when I begged the Lord to let me leave, the Lord said stay put.

So one day I was out in my yard pulling weeds, and I was talking to the Lord, pouring out my heart to Him.  I told him about all my troubles, my heartaches, my woes.  I told him about my desires and dreams and wishes and goals.  And then I asked the Lord to release me from my assignment, and He said no.  So out of my frustration, I said to the Lord, "Fine, I'll stay!  But I have to know why you want me here!"  His answer surprised me.

All of those trials I went through, those tribulations, those sorrows I suffered, those hardships I endured...they were going to happen, no matter who was in my place.  The same fights would have been fought, the same losses sustained, the same questions would have been asked.  And other men might have given into the temptation to flee for their lives.  But the Lord said, "I needed someone I knew would stay."

A few years after that, I went through an even darker time.  I was hated, ridiculed, spat upon, lied to, abandoned, and betrayed.  And all that after I had been faithful to what God called me to do.  To love and give, and to stay put when everyone was telling me to run.  I watched my world crumble around me, watched as those things that had been most important to me were stripped from my hands and there was nothing I could do about.

And one day after it was over, I was out in my yard digging up broken sprinklers, and I was talking to the Lord, pouring out my heart to Him.  I told him about all my troubles, my heartaches, my woes.  I told him about my desires and dreams and wishes and goals.  And then I said to Him, "You knew all along that was going to happen to me, and you told me to do it anyway.  You sent me into that, and now you've delivered me out of it.  But what was the point?  Why did I have to stay?"

Surprisingly enough, His answer was much the same.  "I needed someone who would stay."

After that I often joked that if I could do those two things, I could do anything!

We need to understand who is the author of our trial, who is our companion along the way, and who we are taking our cues and counsel from.  If we are trusting the Lord and following His instructions, it doesn't matter how bad the situation around us seems.  We are obeying the Lord.  He may send us through the fires of a refinery, pour us into the unyielding molds of a foundry, test us with captivity, affliction, and sometimes even defeat.  He may take us right through the midst of fire and flood.

But if we remain faithful to Him, His promise is to bring us out to rich fulfillment.  Thank you, Lord!  You make it all worthwhile.