A Just Man

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man,

and not wanting to make her a public example,

was minded to put her away secretly.

Matthew 1:19, NKJV

Jewish culture of 2000 years ago was a little different than ours today. In today's world, some young people change romantic partners like most people change their socks. Relationships are fleeting, based on passion (or at least lust), and cast aside when it no longer suits. Even marriages are seen as disposable; if it doesn't work out, divorce is easy. Just get out of it and start another. And if that one doesn't work...

But to Israelites like Joseph and Mary, their relationship was something more than that. Once she was of marriageable age, and once he was able to support her financially with his carpentry business, their families had entered into discussion of their future together. Joseph had presented Mary's family with a contract outlining his vows of responsibility toward Mary. Mary had accepted Joseph's ring and they had sipped from a common flask of wine. The trumpet had been blown to announce the betrothal. And in the eyes of the community, these two young people were legally bound to each other in covenant, complete short of consummation, which would come in time. Only death or divorce could dissolve the relationship.

In the interim between betrothal and wedding bed, they would not have seen each other. Joseph was busy building a place for he and Mary to live after they got married, either an extra room attached to his parents' house, or perhaps a small house of their own. Mary was busy preparing herself for her wedding day. Joseph's close friend served as a go between, carrying messages from Joseph to Mary, and the replies from Mary to Joseph. So Mary's three-month absence would not have interrupted any social life the two might have shared.

Now Mary's belly is starting to bulge beneath the front of her robes, and there's talk in the town. Perhaps Joseph comes to her house to see her, and under the circumstances, the cultural expectations might have been relaxed enough to allow for that. Joseph needed answers, and Mary needed to give them. She was pregnant, and claiming that her baby was a miracle baby, conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, conceived to be the Son of God. That was her story, and it was the truth, but Joseph did not at first believe it. He knew it wasn't his baby, and at that point he had a few options open to him.

He could make her a public example. He could bring her before the elders of the community, the leaders of the synagogue, and charge her with adultery. Her visible pregnancy would be proof enough. As followers of the Law of Moses, the community would be compelled to execute her by stoning. There was a cliff on the outskirts of town to which they would escort her, and from which they would shove her over. And then they would select heavy stones to drop on her until she was battered and crushed to death from the brutal rain of rocks. Joseph would get to go first.

But the Bible says Joseph was a just man; he was righteous and fair, and he had no desire to see the love of his life put to death in such a manner. He had no desire to see her dead at all. Her sin was against him, and he would not make an example of her. He didn't want to marry her, so the only other possibility was to divorce her, to make a quiet application to the community elders for a dissolution of their betrothal. Moses had allowed for men to write bills of divorcement from their wives, and apparently there were some who allowed divorce for any reason, even without just cause. What would have happened to Mary after that would be upon her and her parents. Joseph would be free to find another bride.

What Joseph was about to learn was a lesson in grace, in mercy, in love and in trust. It was apparently a lesson he needed, despite being just. And in his actions that followed, he was going to demonstrate the nature of forgiveness, even though Mary had nothing for which to be forgiven. His life would be a living testimony to the matchless grace being brought into the world through her.