Standing Next to God

Surely I am more stupid than any man,

and do not have the understanding of a man.

I neither learned wisdom

nor have knowledge of the Holy One.

Proverbs 30:2-3 NKJV

These might have been the words of Solomon, writing under a pseudonym. These might have been the words of one of Solomon's peers or correspondents, which Solomon or some other editor chose to include in this collection of Proverbs. But whoever he was, I can identify with his statement. Surely I am more stupid than any man...

Now, I am a person of natural intelligence and both formal and informal education. I am well read, well studied, and usually able to make practical application of my wealth of information. Some have tried to tell me that I knew the Bible better than anyone they knew; I suspect it may have been innocent but misguided flattery. I'm a smart man, I think. At least smart enough to know that I'm not nearly as smart as I need to be sometimes.

I think it is important to know one's own limitations. I don't have all the answers, and it's important to know that I don't have to have all the answers. But I do know the One who can answer every question. I don't have a solution to every problem, but I know the One who can solve anything. I don't know everything there is to know, but I know the One who does know everything about everything. There are lots of things I don't know, lots of things I don't understand, and lots of things I cannot do. I am merely mortal, a fallen, frail, human prone to weakness and failure, and sadly, stupidity.

There have been decisions made by this smart man, that in retrospect I say, "What were you thinking?" Or sometimes even, "Were you even thinking?" There have been some things said by this smart, that in retrospect I say, "You should have kept your mouth shut and let everyone think you were a fool, rather than opening your mouth and removing all doubt. (Yes, I know, that's not original to me...but everything I know I learned from someone else). There have been things that I have done, that in retrospect I say, "You shouldn't have done that, and you had every opportunity to make a different choice. But you didn't...dummy!"

Please don't misunderstand me. This is not an exercise in false humility or self-pity. My self-esteem doesn't need to be built up; I'm a pretty confident, self-assured individual. I'm proud of myself (mostly); I have hardly anything to be ashamed of. I am intelligent and talented and capable of a great many things, if not many great things. And therein lies the problem, the issue at hand. What does the Apostle Paul write, in 1 Corinthians 10:12--Let him who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall. In another place, the Bible says pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. I may be all of those things I said I was; perhaps I am even what others think of me. But in those things I can place no trust.

For when I stand myself up beside God, measuring myself by the stature of Christ, and hold the Word of God up as a mirror of my soul, I find that the more I know the less I know. The more I do, the less I have accomplished. On the face of eternity, I am an infinitesimal speck of matter that is passing away. I am neither the center nor the master of my universe. I am one man, fallen, frail, sometimes failing...saved by grace, and nothing else. Whatever I think I have learned, there is still another lesson. Whatever I think I know, there is still much more to know. And just when I think I understand, everything shifts around me to give me a different view.

Standing next to God, next to Christ, next to the Word and the Spirit, I am nothing. I am nobody. I have nothing, I know nothing, I can do nothing. I think it's important for me to understand, Surely I am more stupid than any man. So I'm not going to try to outdo anybody but my past self; and I'm not going to hold myself up as the standard for all others. Instead, I'm going to strive to know Christ. I may never measure up to the full statue of Christ in this life, but I strive to know Him, that in eternity I may be completely like Him.