I think most women cringe when they read Proverbs 31. I'd bet most of them even cringe when they hear the phrase "Proverbs 31". And as for us guys, God forbid that we invoke Proverbs 31. As a pastor, I've always approached that passage with trepidation and tried not to go there too often. I find it easier to preach on submission than on the Proverbs 31 woman. Then one day I was reading, and the very first verse jumped out at me, a verse most people glance over on their way to meatier matters. It says:
The words of King Lemuel
the utterance which his mother taught him.
Did you catch that emphasis that I placed? The King's mama told him all this stuff, and what woman wouldn't set a high standard for her son's future mate to live up to? Proverbs 31 is a mother's portrait of what she thinks her daughter-in-law ought to be like!
Think about what this chapter describes. A woman of virtue. And then it lists the desired qualifications of virtuousness.
Completely trustworthy in every area.
Always treats her husband in the best possible way.
Industrious. Handy.
She gets up early and stays up late working for her family.
She's a good cook.
She plans her day in advance and follows through, probably checking off her list as she goes.
A property manager and business administrator.
A shrewd investor and a frugal shopper.
She is a tailor and a seamstress, and she does her own mending.
She is generous, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, housing the homeless. She engages in charity work and supports social causes.
She apparently shovels her own sidewalks in the wintertime, and makes sure everyone is dressed warmly before they leave home.
She is an interior designer and decorator.
She always stands by her man.
She is industrious. (Did I mention that she is industrious?)
She is strong and honorable, always has a smile on her face, and whenever she speaks, she speaks words of profound wisdom, but she is also always kind when she says it.
She is never idle. She never watches soaps nor eats bonbons. She certainly never naps.
She is so good her children always love and respect her, and her husband always takes notice of her work and compliments her for all she does.
Oh, and she is a devout worshiper of God.
Is it me, or does this seem like a lot to ask for in one person? Who was King Lemuel's mother anyway? And just where did she think she was going to find someone to measure up? And if there is a village of these girls, I'd like directions so I can go find one, because I don't know if I have ever met a Proverbs 31 woman who was a Proverbs 31 woman 24/7/365.
Like so many other Biblical lists like this, I think it is an ideal. A standard to be reached for, a goal to be pursued. I honestly think it's more about a woman's heart than her actions. Show me a woman who wants to keep her home, take care of the family business, love her children and love her husband...and I'll show you the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. Of course, show me someone who balks at Proverbs 31, and I'll show you someone who is struggling with God's idea of what a Godly woman ought to be.
Ladies, strive to be all that God wants you to be. And gentlemen, cut them a little slack. After all, those faults that are so recognizable in her is what kept her from getting a better husband.
